Difficult Week This Week

In which our intrepid life explorer has spent the week pretty bummed out.

It’s been a difficult week this week for a number of reasons and I’ve really struggled to get that smile back on my face. I guess this is going to be a path of ups and downs as I find my way again? It’s definitely been a down this week unfortunately.

It was great seeing everyone at Alice’s party on Saturday (well, maybe not everyone) but it really hit home everything else I’ve lost because of what’s happened these past few months.

Dave and Ann were lovely on Saturday and at one point I did get quite emotional and faught with the tears. I miss them all so much and I’d not really thought about that before the weekend. Silly I know but my thoughts have always been on losing my girls and missing them so much.

I know it’s early days, and I’m sure it’s been somewhat awkward for a lot of people – not knowing whether or not to contact me, what to say etc. – and seeing everyone at the weekend at least showed that people don’t hate me for everything that’s happened based on what, or more importantly what not, has been said.

After spending the last 10 years getting to know Sarah’s family and considering them very good friends and family – in the true sense of the word – I’ve missed them all terribly these past few months and I can only hope that some of them keep in touch and we can meet up once in a while.

I’ve never really worried about losing extended family when previous relationships have gone sour before. I know they never involved marriage and children but I still considered them all friends. This time round though it’s that much harder, especially considering the great people they are. It’s funny, when Sarah told me it was all over I never even considered how losing touch with everyone else would affect me you know?

I guess this is all a part of the healing process and I’m sure other things are going to come along and blindside me for a bit. Let’s hope I’m strong enough to [eventually] shrug them off and move forward.

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